In Our Darkest Hour
by racefh853629
Summary: One horrible event change lives forever. And he just couldn't lose anyone else...
1. It Started Today

A/N: So, I promise that I haven't abandoned my other story. I'm just having a little bit of trouble keeping the muses happy. Especially when ideas like this jump in and won't leave me alone. I don't own Chicago Med, Chicago PD, or any other known entity. Story and chapter titles come from the song, "In Our Darkest Hour" by Phantom Planet, which I also don't own. I started writing this before this season started, so there have been some new adjustments since the crossover. This story does take place in the future. I hope you guys enjoy this one, and please review. :)

* * *

Prologue: It Started Today

It started innocently enough.

A brief spark, an arc between two broken circuits. A normally innocuous flash that led into something more. A flicker of a flame, a few wisps of smoke. Easily manageable, until…

Until it wasn't.

The smoke grew from a few wisps into a cloud, spreading out across the ceiling and into a darkening haze. That was the first indication they had that something was wrong. The alarms came next, distant in nature and garish in sound, the strobe lights cutting through the haze and making the floor seem like a dance club instead of a ballroom.

The screams began shortly after the alarms as people frantically rushed to get out through the only door they knew: the one they had come in. A few others straggled to get out through other doors, but as the smoke grew thicker, the ability to find one's way became nearly impossible.

Every fearful fiber of his being wanted to run frantically and screaming out of the room as fast as he could. And yet, he stayed, trying to find others and guide them to safety.

He clung along the walls, feeling around the floor as the temperature of the room grew hotter, almost making it feel like the walls were melting around him. And maybe they were, but he was more focused on trying to help people out of the room than he was about the walls.

But, he should've been.

The smoke turned the room pitch black in every place except where the actual flames were, and he continued to creep along, hoping that he wouldn't find anyone else, because it was damn near impossible to tell which way to go. Visibility at zero, and his lungs begging for any bit of clean air.

And the screams…

The only thing that could permeate the crackle of the flames was the screams of its victims who hadn't yet made it out of harm's way. _I don't know if_ I'm _even getting out of here,_ he thought to himself, his eyes tearing at the thought, as well as knowing that he likely wouldn't be the only one.

It sounded like an explosion, and then the crackle of the flames turned into the roar of an inferno. The screams grew louder as he came across a small child, curled into a ball and crying in fear. He quickly grabbed her, holding her to him as he fought his way back where he came from.

Except now, he didn't know where that was.

The screams grew louder, starting to drown out the overwhelming sounds of the flames. It wasn't until he tried to move a little further and found himself trapped that he realized that the screams were actually coming from him.

The burning pain as the flames began to envelope him was almost too much to bear. He tried to make it a little further before finally realizing the futility. He used his body as a human shield, clutching the little girl under him to protect her from even an ounce of the pain he felt. It wasn't long before he thought he heard footsteps, but even that, too, faded away.

All that came next was the terrifying sound of silence.


	2. I Can't See A Thing

A/N: Thank you to everyone who read the first chapter! It gets a little... out of body type experience as it goes on. I hope you all enjoy this one as well! Please see the first chapter for the disclaimer. I hope you enjoy this one, and please review. :)

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Chapter One: I Can't See a Thing

The first thing to come back was his hearing. He could hear the hiss of the ventilator as it filled his lungs with air, and while he could vaguely feel his chest filling with air, his entire body felt numb. Present, and existing, but completely numb.

He couldn't move his body, though, and somehow, that thought didn't bother him one bit.

He could hear the tones of the alarms going off in other rooms, and as much as his curious mind wanted to know what was going on, his eyes wouldn't open and join him in his interest. He then heard the sliding of doors and curtains, and the sounds of the alarms was dulled.

He couldn't feel much from his body, but he could sense that someone else was in the room. A sense that was confirmed when he heard the person shifted in the chair. He could feel the hesitation, the uncertainty, and he wasn't sure what they were worried about. He was alive.

…Right?

He wanted to talk, to say something, but his body wouldn't let him. The tube in his throat stopped him from being able to talk. He was nothing more than a presence inside his own body. Which was oddly comforting, but he wasn't sure why, or how he got this way.

The person in the room cleared his throat, and he knew immediately who it was.

His little brother.

He wanted to reach out to his brother, offer some level of comfort, but he couldn't move, couldn't speak. And then the tones went off in his room, and a bunch of footsteps scrambled in. His brother backed up, allowing others to have room to take care of him.

And that was the last thing he knew before the comforting darkness surrounded him.

* * *

"What happened?" Jay asked, looking at Will's unmoving form in the bed.

"His heart started beating a lot faster than we would like, and his blood pressure spiked," Connor replied. "He's okay now, but we needed to slow his heart rate down."

"Why did it start beating so fast?"

"I'm not sure. We gave him some medication for his heart rate and blood pressure, to help lower them. We'll continue to keep a close eye on him. He was also due for his other medications, so he may have needed that as well."

"What other medication?"

"We have him on medication for pain and to keep him sedated. We also have him on medications to stabilize his blood pressure and heart rate to help him maintain a good perfusion for optimal healing."

Jay hesitated with his question, afraid to hear the answer, but knowing that he really needed to know. "Will he be okay?"

Connor sighed heavily. "Jay, I'm not going to lie to you. He's going to have a long road ahead of him. We gotta keep everything clean, prevent infection. Right now, it's a waiting game. He suffered burns over a good portion of his back and body. Honestly, he's lucky he made it this far."

Jay nodded solemnly, sinking back into the visitor's chair.

Connor, too, felt the heavy feeling over the room. Choosing this moment to make his escape, he said softly, "I'll be around if you need me."

Jay barely nodded as he held his head in his hands.

* * *

"Lindsay," she answered softly, knowing exactly who was on the other end of the phone.

"Hey," Jay said softly, and she immediately picked up on the dismal tone in his voice.

"Hi." Erin paused her movement in her apartment. "You don't sound so good."

"I… uh, I'm not," he admitted.

"What's going on?"

His breath in sounded like something heavy was lying on his chest, preventing him from inhaling. "Will… uh… Will's in the hospital."

"How bad?" she asked, even though she half-knew the answer.

"It's bad," he whispered.

She closed her eyes, absorbing his pain through the phone. "What happened?"

"He was at this… this charity gala thing for the hospital…"

"At the Hotel Mian?" she asked cautiously, fearing the answer.

"Yeah," Jay breathed.

"God." She had just seen the story on the news of the fire at the Hotel Mian. Just listened to the details from the survivors that somehow managed to get out unscathed. 30 lives were lost so far, the reporter had told her. At least 100 more injured, some critical. She took a shaky breath in.

"Dr. Rhodes…" Jay started before taking a brief pause. "He... uh… he said Will's lucky he made it this far… I… I can't… not both of them…"

She could hear the tears in his voice, and felt her own eyes welling up. "Jay, I'm so sorry," she told him honestly. "What can I do?"

"I don't know," he said softly.

"Do you need anything?"

"Not… uh… not right now." He sniffed, and her heart ached more for him, knowing how hard he was trying to keep it together.

"I'm always here," she told him quietly.

"I know," he whispered.

She nodded to herself.

"I… uh… I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay," she said to the silence as he hung up. And as she put her phone down, her tears fell freely, the pain she had felt for the victims before now amplified by one thousand, knowing that her former lover was affected, and in pain.

* * *

He could hear the footsteps again, and he knew without a doubt that his little brother was back. And yet, Will couldn't move, couldn't speak. Just lay there in his primarily frozen state. But he could hear. And he could think. And he didn't need to be able to feel anything to know that his little brother was hurting.

Why had he done it?

Why hadn't he just gotten the hell out of there?

Why risk leaving his brother with no family?

Why?

The alarms went off again, and the people rushed in. More chatter, more fussing, and then…

Then, more silence.


	3. I Get So Upset

A/N: I appreciate all the reviews and love I've received for this story. Sorry this has taken me so long, I've had a lot of stuff going on. See the first chapter for the disclaimer. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review!

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Chapter Two: I Get So Upset

He wouldn't move.

Understandably, of course. When family's hurting, the place to be is with them. That wasn't the part that bothered him. It was the fact that there was nothing he could do. He couldn't make it better. He couldn't change anything.

All he could do was sit there.

The door slid open, and he became aware of another person in the room. He didn't bother to look, instead focusing on the burned man in the bed.

"Any change?" the newcomer rasped.

Jay shook his head, keeping his eyes on his brother.

Voight walked further into the room to put his hand on Jay's shoulder.

Jay barely noticed the slight gesture of comfort.

"Fire investigators say it was faulty wiring," Voight said.

Jay shook his head. "Shouldn't have been able to get that bad," he said finally.

"Mmm."

"It's a fucking hotel. Where were the sprinklers? The fire extinguishers? Anything? How the fuck does it get that bad?"

Voight squeezed Jay's shoulder slightly.

Jay said nothing else, simply staring at his brother.

* * *

"He's got a point," Voight said to Boden, as the two of them sat sharing a drink at Molly's.

"Grandfathered in," Boden replied, taking a drink from his glass.

Voight grunted, but said nothing.

* * *

Will was starting to feel like he was eavesdropping.

He had heard the brief conversation between Jay and Voight earlier, and couldn't help but agree with his brother. What the hell had gone wrong? Fire safety laws existed for a reason. Weren't all buildings completely retrofitted by now?

 _Apparently not_ , he thought to himself.

He realized that as long as he listened, and didn't try to think too much, then the alarms wouldn't go off. But, it was hard not to. His little brother was holding vigil at his side while he attempted to recover from what he had come to understand were severe burns.

He was thankful he could hardly feel anything.

The sliding door opened, and he heard the familiar footsteps of his colleague. "Can I get you anything?" she asked.

 _A new body,_ Will thought.

"I'm okay, thanks," Jay replied.

He didn't even notice the adjustment to the IV lines, as he contemplated what she was doing in the ICU. April loved the ER, but must have picked up upstairs… or… or maybe she got floated…

No one gets floated out of the ER.

And as he continued to mull it over in his head, he hardly noticed when the darkness came back in…

* * *

"You sure I can't get you anything?" April asked as she looked again at Jay, who stared at his brother's barely moving body. "Something to eat? Some coffee?"

Jay shook his head.

"Okay. Well, if that changes, let me know. I'll be here for a while."

Jay nodded solemnly, silent as April made her way out of the room. He stood up, stretching his legs as he moved around the small room. The machines took up so much of the room that there weren't more than a few feet to move.

Will was completely covered in dressings, practically from head to toe. Because of the infection risk, Jay wasn't allowed to go near Will without isolation garb. He couldn't try to touch his brother's arm or shoulder without gloves on. Even though the dressings were in place, there was just too much risk for infection to slip in anywhere.

Everyone who came into the room dressed the same as him. He hardly ever left, because there was very little that was worth the trouble of undressing and dressing. The nurses were kind enough to let him borrow their chargers, so he at least had his phone to keep him company if or when he felt like talking.

And right now, he didn't.

* * *

"Hey," Connor said to April as he walked up to the nurse's station. "What are you doing up here?"

"Oh, I'm covering for Sandy," she replied.

Connor nodded. "Which nurse has Will?"

"You're looking at her."

"Any change?"

April shook her head. "I gave him his medication around 6, no issues. BP and heart rate are stable, no indicators of him being awake or uncomfortable."

Connor nodded, sighing.

"Never easy when you know them," she said.

"No," he replied. "Call me if anything changes, okay?"

"You got it."

Connor nodded, glancing into Will's room briefly, noting that his younger brother was pacing in the small area available to walk. Jay hadn't been particularly open to talking before, and as much as Connor wanted to assist now, he knew that he needed to get home.

"I got him too," April told him.

Connor looked back at her.

She offered him a small smile. "Go home and get some rest, Dr. Rhodes. I'll let you know if anything changes."

Connor nodded again, stifling a yawn as he turned to walk off the unit.


	4. Nowhere To Go

A/N: I know, long time, no post. Been so much going on. See the first chapter for the disclaimer. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review!

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Chapter Three: Nowhere to Go

All Jay could think about while pacing was his father. His father who, as rough as he was, had tried to save someone in a fire… just like his older brother did. Just as Jay likely would have done in their places. But, it didn't make this any easier.

Jay was tired of watching.

But, he found himself unable to walk away. He couldn't go home and leave his brother alone. What if something happened, and he wasn't there? There was no way he'd be able to live with himself, not after everything with their father, and the last thing Jay ever said to him…

That wasn't gonna happen again.

April made her way back into the room, her arms full of dressing supplies. Jay did his best to step out of her way as she prepared to change Will's dressings. She frowned to herself before working. "I've done burn dressings more times than I care to count," she said softly. "Never on someone I know, love, and respect."

Jay nodded, feeling a lump form in his throat.

"Do you want to step out while I do this? It isn't gonna be pretty."

"I've seen it a few times," he told her softly.

She nodded. "Well, then, I could use some help, if you're willing."

Jay shrugged as April handed him a fresh pair of gloves.

"First, I need you to hold his arm up for me. Just grab his hand and lift."

Jay did as he was told.

April gently took off the old bandage, sighing heavily. "Damn," she said quietly. She shook her head.

"What?" Jay asked.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just… wasn't working the night he came in."

Jay nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.

April changed gloves before cleaning and redressing the wounds to his right arm. She looked at Jay again. "I need you to grab his leg for me, now," she said.

Jay picked up Will's right foot to hold his leg up. He swallowed hard, knowing that the leg wounds looked worse. But, not nearly as bad as his back…

"Jay?" April asked gently.

"Yeah?" he replied, breaking out of his thoughts.

"You okay?"

Jay didn't answer, which was more of an answer to her than if he'd actually said anything. She went to work on the right leg dressings while Jay attempted to zone out again.

"My God," she said softly as she worked on Will's right leg.

Jay closed his eyes.

"Thank God he's out and not feeling anything."

Jay looked at her.

"He'd be hurting a lot," she answered Jay's unasked question as she finished with his leg. "Alright, I need to switch sides with you."

Jay moved onto Will's right side while April moved left, bringing her supplies with her.

"Let's do his leg first," she said.

Jay helped hold up his brother's left leg while she took off the old dressings.

"They look like they're healing alright," she said.

"How can you tell?" he asked. "You said you hadn't seen them yet."

"The tissue looks like it's doing alright, in a good stage of healing, no infection…"

"Yet."

She offered him a knowing look before finishing wrapping his left leg.

Jay picked up Will's left arm, holding it up for her.

"You should talk to someone," she said, glancing up from Will's wounds to Jay's face.

He swallowed, but didn't say anything.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost my father from complications after a fire, and a year later, was sitting at my brother's bedside while he's healing from burns he got in a different fire."

Jay closed his eyes again.

"I know I could be strong for a little while, but eventually, I'd lose it."

He swallowed again.

She finished with Will's left arm before handing Jay a clean pair of gloves. "I need you to hold him on his side while I do his back," she said.

Jay nodded, helping to position his brother to allow for her to work.

"I'm always amazed by the way things happen," she commented as she took off the old dressings. "His hair and head are fine, his butt is fine, but everything else is burned pretty bad."

Jay took a shaky breath.

"His back must've gotten it the worst. It looks the worst, anyway. Must have to do with how he positioned himself to save that little girl."

"She survived?" Jay asked softly.

"Yeah," April replied gently. "Smoke inhalation, mostly, so we monitored her for a little while, but she went home earlier today."

Jay nodded, more to himself than anything.

"Your brother's a hero. Just like you."

Jay swallowed the growing lump in his throat again.

"Almost done here."

Jay nodded, determined to keep his tears at bay until they were finished.

"Okay, you can let him lay back down on his back," she said after a few moments. "All done."

Jay gently rolled his brother onto his back.

"Help me lift him up in the bed a bit?"

Jay nodded, grabbing the pad under his brother and helping her lift him up in bed.

"Thanks, Jay," she said as she cleaned up. "Need anything?"

He shook his head.

"Alright, let me know if you do."

He nodded, sinking back into the chair. He managed to hold it together until just after she left the room.

* * *

Dr. Charles made his way in, finding Jay sitting in the chair with his eyes closed. He almost left, until he saw Jay's eyes open.

"How's he doing?" he asked.

"Hangin' in," Jay replied.

"How about you?"

"I'm alright."

Dr. Charles made a pensive face. "No, you're not," he said.

Jay didn't say anything.

"You want everyone to think you are, but you're hurting just as bad as he is. And, you know, it's okay to talk about it. Even if it's not with me. It's not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of coping. You've been having a rough time lately."

Jay looked down at the floor.

"Anyway, I'm around if you need me," Dr. Charles said as he moved his way out of the room, leaving Jay alone with his thoughts.

And tears.


End file.
